Patience

Last weekend I went to the lot with my sister and parents.  We worked on the cabins.  I actually have really enjoyed caulking the cabins.  I know that sounds really crazy and strange, but it has been very therapeutic.  It is relaxing and I can think clearly and talk to myself (inside my head) and I kind of zone out. I figure things out in my head and it just works for me.  Anyways....It was fun helping Cris and then we "supervised" or "Stupervised" my parents build their cabin railing and stairs.  It was a nice and relaxing day.  I have to be really honest....... I didn't get on my four-wheeler and I did have a very good cry/melt down on the way home. The wounds are still very large and tender. This place and four-wheeling was once "our thing" to do together, so I haven't been on it since last fall.  I need to do it, but I do know that I have been really pushing myself to do first things and to be strong and one thing I am realizing is that through this hard trial and the difficult times I need to remember to be patient and take things a little at a time and it's ok to go slow on things as long as I make progress and move forward. I have felt weak when going to my once was  happy spot, but today I realize that I am strong because I have actually gone there and not avoided the place that causes pain, but once was my happy spot.  I want it to be my happy spot again and I know it will be. I just need to be patient with myself.  Patience is easier said than done, but I think if I am a little more patient and just make a little progress then I am doing good.  I am excited to see the progress of the cabins.  It is going to be so fun! Thanks to my sweet sister who has came and picked me up the last couple of Saturdays and taken me to the lot and for listening to me cry down the mountain and on our way home. Deep breath... !